Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
