I think my vagina is haunted
I don't think brook has ever known best
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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