At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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