I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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