Me too!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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