There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
