She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
