i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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