i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
