KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
