yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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