At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize