I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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