I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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