get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
