Betty ford says i'm here all night
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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