I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
