You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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