Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's official drugs can't kill me
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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