new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
