if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
