Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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