she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
