hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
