Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize