You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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