Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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