it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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