I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
