He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
