I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
