one might say we're banned from that church
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
