Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
