We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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