What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We are two peas in an std pod
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
