I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You pole danced in your parka.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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