i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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