Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You are a genius and a whore.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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