so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
