there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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