he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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