Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
false alarm. still invincible.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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