i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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