That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize