There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
they're like a gay fantastic four
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
