hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
