I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
