It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
