You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
