Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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