she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
