foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize