My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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