Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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