We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
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Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
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I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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