He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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