Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
