Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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