is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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