i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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