I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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