I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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