Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
