he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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