careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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