2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
