Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
