took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
