the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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