i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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