I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
