Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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