Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
