carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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